Really?

I went to go visit a friend tonight, and I did not have my glasses (I'm blind) so I stopped across the street of the housing complex to make sure it was the right place. I stopped for less than a minute. I head into the complex and have to go through a roundabout that tells you the apartment numbers at each entrance. I have to slow down a couple times, until I find the right one, then park. I get out of my car, lock it, and this black car rolls by. The man says "Hey, (insert my last name) right?" I'm confused but say yeah this isn't a police car so I figure it's someone my friend knows. He goes on to ask me if I'm lost, because he saw me parked across the street and... Me: I'm looking for a friends house, can't see too well, don't have my glasses.  HIM: Oh, I was just wondering because there's been some break ins recently and you were driving through... Me: Ok, I'm looking for apartment 152, am I in the wrong lot? HIM: No, that's right over there, have a good night.              

At first I couldn't understand why this left me unsettled. Now I realize that this happened within the space of 3 minutes.  He saw me park across the street and immediately ran my plate. After that showed him I've NEVER been arrested or even had  a parking ticket, he still felt the need to come over and warn me that I'd been seen and was being watched. On top of that, I had actually passed by him to get into that section's parking lot and so he had to turn around to give his warning.  F*ck You. What pisses me off is he thought he was being clever and sly, and I was too confused to call him on it.  Now I'm wasting my life thinking of all the things I should've said.If I'm here to steal I'm not going to admit it to you. If I'm lost I'm not going to go deep into the complex and park my car and get out. Ask any of my friends and they'll tell you I'm a creep. In fact, I freely admit it. In this case I wasn't acting the least bit suspicious, and instead of correctly and logically assuming I was looking for a specific apartment this man decided I was casing the entire neighborhood...by myself...in my inconspicuous Black Punch Buggy. I don't appreciate being stopped like that and I want a do-over to be facetious and snarky.

Making Plans- Rambling

I'm making plans to get to my long term goals. I need to narrow my focus of study. I want to work with animals, but doing what? I could get into conservation, animal husbandry, Marine biology, become a vet tech,or if I'm ambitious a veterinarian. I'm honestly considering as a side job/hobby wild life photography. I'm going to contact some professors or workers at the aquarium just to get a better idea of what each field requires financially, years of study, future salary, which if any of these can be combined.  I have to do some research and decide. To prepare for this I'm going to read 1 chapter from my photography book or veterinary assistant book every night.

I've had my veterinary assistant certification for a year and haven't done used it at all. It's the best tool I have to get into the field I want in some capacity.

• Contact Humane Society  about volunteering
• Contact VCAs in surrounding areas about shadowing, internships
• RESEARCH

It's not the best plan, and has to be flushed out a lot. Atleast, it's a start.

Am I A Jerk?

It's difficult for me to befriend people because I'm shy, don't trust people, and am terrible at making small talk. Making friends with people at work is even worse because I'm even more formal with people than usual. There is a girl at my job that has befriended me. The problem... I'm not sure if I like her. There's nothing wrong with her, she's nice and friendly, but she may be too nice. Just typing this makes me feel like an angsty teenager thinking they're too cool, but it's the truth. She's EXTREMELY cheerful, which may become a problem in the future because I'm Mean. I'm not a malicious person. I won't call someone out in public or deliberately embarrass you. According to a close friend I'm a Good person but not very Nice.

Let's just be honest, when you first meet people you have to be a watered down version of yourself. For example, I when I was at this co-worker's house we were looking for food for a picnic and her dad suggested watermelon. I wanted to say "Just because I'm black doesn't mean i like watermelon." Unfortunately, I couldn't because I was pretty sure that would've led to an awkward silence and apologies instead of the laugh it deserved. I've realized that I see her sunny disposition as fake, and that's messed up. Am I really that angsty, EMO teen that thinks there's no happiness and My Chemical Romance speaks to my inner darkness. I don't want to be that cynical person, and despite popular opinion I'm not that judgmental. I usually make first impressions and then see if people live up to them. I'm honestly wrong a lot, and people pleasantly surprise me.